I remember I was doing a course I absolutely hated and detested, and was ranting to a friend about it. I told him I don't even care about this course, and it's the most useless thing and I don't know why I am doing it. And he said, "But you do care about it, you talk about it all the time. I think deep down you want to do well." And my mind was like WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? I do NOT care about this stupid course you're COMPLETELY wrong. But my heart felt understood and seen. But then again when I thought about it I still desired to leave the course too. Very contradictory. I didn't understand what was happening then but I think I get it now. 

I did not feel like I was capable of doing it. And I did not want to accept that because it was easier to focus on that fact that I actually did not want to do it too. So when he pointed out that I do care and that I want to do well, to my heart it was pointing to this little girl inside me who was not feeling good enough for it, and just wanted a shred of reassurance that she was. It was nice that he saw that. 

Now that I have awareness and love on my solar plexus I realise this very human need to know that you are good enough, so I am that reminder for myself.  I still doubt and get caught up in feeling incapable but I allow myself now to see my progress and how I AM making improvements in the places I want to. I'm learning and growing that is pretty awesome. And when the need to be perfect starts to control my life I have learnt this Mantra from a person I look up to:

Good enough for a Delhi Girl who thinks she's all that!

Meaning that perfection is impossible, I am not God, and that for a Delhi girl I'm doing aight. I am NOT special; I am just like everyone else. And for that I am enough; and magical and extraordinary at the same time too! 

PS- A little roll-on buddy for my solar plexus definitely does not hurt. There are situations and days where the self-doubt is a little harder to catch. Inhaling a little bit of our solar plexus blend is a nice little extra support. It's not magic but it's also not that expensive. Check it out here.